I put “update your blog” into the Outlook Calendar….

I was talking to my Aunt tonight and she reminded me that I had a blog and that I hadn’t written on it in a long time. I’m not going to think about all of the things that have happened since I last wrote a blog entry… there would be too much. This school year has been everything that I could have imagined and more. The class of 2013 are some of the greatest kids in the entire world. They are super smart, incredibly thoughtful and full of spunk. In reaction to the crisis in Haiti, my kiddos have decided to set a goal of raising $1000. We secured a matching donation and they have really taken this task to heart. In four days, we raised over $500. AMAZING! As I spent some time thinking about this feat over the weekend, I was reminded about all of the typical Teach For America stories…. then begin with a struggling student, the teacher puts a ton of work into that student, and they accomplish some great academic goal. They always end with the statement: “student X and the ______ students at Y school are why I teach for America” I guess in the beginning, it was about the academic gains… it still is at certain points in the year; however, when i think back on these last 2 weeks, something very different motivates me. The desire my students have to change the world, one dollar, one event, one student at a time; the unification of their goals, and their worldliness and desire to learn, are why I Teach For America.

I might be the worst blogger in the world….

I really don’t do a very good job at this. I’m trying to get into the routine of life again after an amazing summer…. so it seems like a good time to try to blog again. I have been reflecting a lot these past few weeks on the time that has passed. Now that I am finished with Teach For America, I feel like my “real” life has begun. For some, TFA is an interlude prior to the start of a ‘real’ life, but for me, it is the continuation of a journey… one that I am daily recommitting myself to. I could say that I knew the moment that I stepped into my first classroom that I would always be a teacher, but that simply isn’t true. I choose daily to pursue this dream because I know that both my students and I need my to make that choice. I think of the model that Jesus gave us, He didn’t want to live the perfect sinless life, to die for all of us, and to be the savior of a fallen world, He chose to put God’s plan before his own. Now in no way am I comparing myself to Jesus, but I am saying that I am at the point where God’s plan being first in my life is a daily choice. I am more convinced that I am supposed to teach than ever… The daily challenges and the fact that many days, I find unexpected joy in those challenges, assures me that this is God’s plan. My students this year are amazing… just as amazing as the one’s that came before them. They are such a blessing in my life. I cannot explain the feeling I get each time I greet them at the door. It is a feeling that is indescribable. May I pray daily as Jesus did, “not my will but your’s”

B

Frustration.

Today I’m frustrated. I feel like things are never going to get any easier. As soon as things get fixed or start to look up… BAM, something else happens and I’m really just getting sick of it. Today I feel defeated. Defeated in the heavy hearted way.

Thinking

It seems as if I have been doing a lot of that lately. Not entirely productive thinking, but thinking none the less. Two years in TFA have flown by and it is hard to believe that I am about to be an alum and then in August, a career teacher. I still feel so passionately about the movement that I’m a part of and the work that has been done. Every time I see the smile on a students’ face when their grade has improved or when they ace a test, it reminds me that they are getting an opportunity that they deserve, to get a quality education. I know two things are true, all the time, everyday, good days and bad:

First, that the sacrifices of this world pale in comparisson to the sacrifices of Christ. Second, there is no other place that I need to be right now. The joy and blessings of teaching prove to me that I am in the right place and that I need to stay put, where I am, until the Lord changes His plan for my life. I am struggling with doubting God’s plan and that I’m in the right place but I often start to consider other options before considering the desires of my heart, or considering that the desires of my heart may not be aligned to the desires of His.

Living His Life,

B

What a weekend!

Weekends, well usually they happen on Saturday and Sunday; however, this one sure didn’t feel like a weekend. The weird thing about that is I’m doing okay… I’m not dying of sleep deprivation, going crazy with a million things to do, or lacking in desire to teach my children today. But I do not feel rested enough to start another week. I spent Friday night with Rhianna and several hundred screaming middle school students. We went to watch 17 again, the new movie with Zac Efron and Matthew Perry. Soon enough, Zac Efron appeared shirtless in a bascketball gym and the girls in the audience started screaming with glee. I started to think if I ever had such a reaction to a boy in a movie. I remember seeing JTT in that Christmas movie and thinking, “Whoa he’s hot!” but I don’t remember screaming in a crowded movie theater. Anyways, all in all the movie was a cute story about teenagers, wishing we could go back in time, and family. If you love Disney, go see it!

Saturday morning, I woke up and went to All Staff Conference for Teach For America. I’m working to train new Corps memebers this summer. I am super excited about this job because I remember how important my CMA was to my development as a teacher. I can’t wait to get in there and starting working. I left All Staff Conference with a couple of big takeaways:

1. The achievement gap IS closing, but we need to continue to but highly effective corps members into classrooms to continue the movement.

2. Having a sense of urgency around the work that you do, whatever it is, requires continual inspiration. I left the conference with a renewed mindset about teaching and working with students.

3. When a group of people are united in a cause, big changes happen. When groups become divided, it puts yet another obstacle on the path to success.

I also had a chance to go for a few minutes on Sunday to see one of my favorite people in the world get married. Jesi is the biology teacher on the 9th grade team. She has become like a big sister in teaching to me. She exhibits the utmost care for our students and is always pushing our team to consider new ways to think about kids or people. She is also perhaps the nicest person I have ever met in my life. Jesi has been so supportive and helpful to me during these last two years. Anyway, Jesi got married to a really great guy. She was absolutely stunning. I’m so happy for her… Congrats Jesi and Collin!

Still getting caught up…..

Hey Friends,

So thinking about how much has happened in the last few months, I am putting some more pictures up. They are of concerts, babies, wedding, spring trips, and crazy times. I have really enjoyed this time in my life and here are some pictures to share.

It’s been a long time….

I”m rededicating myself to the blog. I know that most of you won’t believe me but I am going to try and keep up this time. Life has been insanely chaotic for the last few months. I have been running around like crazy trying to keep it all together. I am continueing to learn about balance and how that plays out in the real world. I went to Va over spring break to see my cousins and it was so nice just to get away for a little while. The we took the students on a trip to see colleges all over Texas. Certainly an adventure. But it feels like I can’t ever get caught up and I’m afraid I’m going to forget all of the cool things that happen along the way. So my solution is…. back to the blog.  Here are some pictures of these last few months.

Getting Caught Up!

Sorry I haven’t updated in a while. Life since Ike has been pretty crazy. I went back to school for four days, had a weekend, went to school for three days and then went to Virginia for the weekend. I love Virginia. I fully expect to move there within the next decade. It is so nice to be around my family and to spend time with people that I don’t get to see very often. The only downside was that my mom stayed in Texas and didn’t make the trip.

I arrived late Wednesday night and went to school with my cousin Sarah the next day. She teaches High School French. Basically, I graded tests all day and anxiously awaited NKOTB. Sarah and I went to the New Kid’s on the block concert on Thursday night, had the time of our lives, and then slept in on Friday. We had originally planned to go into DC on Friday but we decided to get home kinda early, so we had lunch at Cheesecake Factory and then drove home. Sarah had been sick so we rested for a little while, watched TV and shared the details with her husband Donnie. He didn’t really want to hear but he also didn’t have a choice. That night, I met my little cousin Alex. My cousin Sandy and her husband David had him in June. He is ah-freaking-dorable. Here he is:

Here he is with his grandma (my Aunt Debbie)

He is going to be a track star one day.

On Saturday we hung around and went to my Aunt’s craft show and then went to her house and played with Alex some more. Here are some more pics:

almost naked babysitting up in his cousinSarah and I at the pumpkin patch

We went to the pumpkin patch before I left on Sunday, aren’t we cute….

A bundle of nerves

Today my 9th graders are taking their first assessment. For those of you who don’t speak teacher… that means TEST. Not a quiz, not a quest, a TEST. This is a huge milestone in our year. Thinking about it, I probably fear the results of their test more than they do. It is a huge indicator about my success as a teacher. Is the test a good one? Will they study the review I spent time making for them? Are the questions fair? Will they bubble in their scantrons correctly? all of the questions really get down to ONE: Will they do better than pass?

Passing is such a pointless benchmark. Students who merely pass my exams are not truly mastering the materail. They are just doing the minimum. How do I get students to do more than that? Offer pizza and a free trip to disney world for kids who make above an 80???? NO! They have to learn to want it for themselves. Some of them will be devestated when they see their B on this test. I can almost guarentee that there will be less than 10 A’s in the 9th grade. Then there are the kids who will see a 65 and say “Look miss, I almost passed” Oh the joys of trying to motivate them.

So they are feeling these emotions but I am thinking that if the class average is a 60% then I am a crappy teacher, if it is a 70% then i am just a little better than crappy. I WANT 80% dang it!

I have been watching them take their tests all day… they are a little flustered at first but then they calm down, get down to business, and then turn it in. “I did my best miss” They say. The question then becomes…. did i do my best???

Results to come, I love my job!

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I have been in Waco since Monday. It has been great to spend time with friends and to have some meaningful rest; however, I am starting to get restless about getting back to school and getting back to “normal” life. It seems interesting to call my life with 9th graders and crazy teacher friends normal, but I am craving it. Don’t get me wrong,  I have really enjoyed hanging out with friends. I did not think that I would make it to Waco this semester because of TFA commitments during homecoming, but this unexpected trip has given me that time. Today I get to spend time with the kiddos at Inner City. I love getting to see these kid again. They have grown up so much in the last 4 years. I’ll post pictures of it all soon. Please continue to pray for preparedness to minister to students when we return, for the saftey of my friends, students, and their families, and for grace and joy to be seen in my actions as I get back to “normal”.

May the praise all be His,

B